Spring

Today, for the first time since our training last summer/autumn, we sat in the sun for lunch. There were the four of us - the girl I call "The Baron", "J", the blonde boy with the funny nose that I will call "The Baxter", and I.

I've only had lunch with the gang a couple of times over the past few weeks due to work, so I missed their company - the bitching, the gossip, the stupid debates, the insults. Better, it was temperate and sunny, and we sat on the steps on the little plaza near work. Enjoying the sun, our Chinese takeaway boxes, and talking. It felt so right - I was relaxed, and we were talking absolute rubbish, joking, laughing and smiling under the sun. It felt like Spring was finally here.

J commented that it's been a long time since he has even felt Content, he misses it. And the Baron said that she misses just being Not Unhappy - she doesn't even hope to be Happy anymore, merely craves Not-Unhappiness. Apparently she has started snapping back at seniors when they ask her to do work: "Is it urgent? When do you need it? Are you sure he (another more senior boss) wants it, or are you just thinking this is a nice-to-have?" J the previous eager beaver also responds sarcastically inside when his senior asks him "Do you have a minute?" ("Yes I happen to have exactly 60 seconds. But your work is going to take me all night!"). And The Baxter now pretends he doesn't understand German, just to avoid getting staffed. I was totally cracking up.

And here I thought it was just me who was getting more brittle, harsh, cynical, and discontented. I felt a burden lift from my heart. Knowing that we were all in this together, soldiering on, made me feel better. I am not weak, I am merely human. I need sunshine in my heart too.